Police 111: 'Nah, We Don't Attend Break-Ins. Bye,' Laughs the Cop
Jordan Kelly • 8 September 2024

My Fellow Kiwis:  THIS Is the 'Protection' & 'Care Factor' We Fund NZ Police to 'Provide'

If, as a fellow Kiwi, who errantly thought the New Zealand Police had your back, you've also been under that impression, I'm here to give you some very unsettling news:  The police DON'T have your back.


Last Tuesday night, while parked for little more than a few minutes on the Petone foreshore (in Wellington) to allow my little dog a toilet stop before heading home to Masterton, my car was broken into (see above) and my (obviously only partially obscured) handbag (and all its contents and various other items) were stolen.


It was almost dark, I was alone with my little elderly dog, I don't use a cell phone, I now had no money or cards, it was pissing down and blowing a gale, and I had a car with smashed glass fragments throughout and no driver's window.


I approached a fellow walker for help, and he duly dialed 111 and asked for the Police as the emergency service required. He could clearly see I was too distressed at the enormity and urgency of the situation to dial and initiate the call myself, so he just took over (for which I was immensely grateful, even though - disgracefully - it turned out to be of absolutely no avail).


'We don't attend break-ins.'


To our mutual disbelief and dismay, the smart-ass cop who answered gave a curt and uninterested response: "We don't attend break-ins."


After trying repeatedly to implore him for some form of assistance given my parlous and urgent circumstances, until it became evident to me that the more desperate and frustrated I became, the more this character was enjoying himself, the owner of the mobile phone took over and had a (highly unsuccessful) attempt at appealing to his "better conscience".


Cop at 111: 'Make A Report to 105 If You Want.'  Crime Victim: 'What Good Will THAT Do?'   Cop: 'Nothing.'


Said owner of phone spent some minutes in this vain pursuit until finally surrendering to its fruitlessness and putting me back on for one final attempt. This heinous individual on the other end, now really enjoying himself, gave me his final smart-assed parting shot: "You can call 105 and make a report, if you want."  (Verbatim.) I replied: "What good will THAT do?" (Verbatim.) He:  "Nothing." (Verbatim, his joyful smirk penetrating the airwaves.)


It was at that point that I felt compelled to point out to the cretinous individual, the fact that he was a complete Prick. And it was also at that point, that his mygonistic, threatening tone indicated clearly, that while he wasn't prepared to despatch one single officer to assist, take a report or do anything else to help, he was absolutely at the ready to despatch as many as he wanted, to come and cuff me and drag me off to the clink for answering him back.


And so, there I was, in all my reluctant helplessness.


Rescued by A Caring Member of the Public, But Not the Police


I drove to the Petone police station (online advice for which says it's a 24-hour operation). It was closed with a notice to go to Lower Hutt, if you needed assistance. Knowing I couldn't drive any further sitting on shards of broken glass, with no driver's window in the galing wind and with rain pouring in, and now knowing full well I would receive absolutely NIL assistance even if I made it there . . . I took the decision to limp down the road to a restaurant proprietor I hoped would extend some help in my moment of extreme need and urgent desperation (which thankfully, he did, and you can read about it here). Had it not been for this wonderful individual (who, by the way, runs an equally fabulous restaurant, which I patronise and that's why I headed there) I can't even conceive of the ultimate outcome of that horror story night.


(The restaurateur was incredulous at the refusal of the police to assist, as clearly were his other patrons, who had overheard our conversation and witnessed my state of distress.)


But it keeps getting worse . . . because when I subsequently told various other parties about my horror night and the couldn't-give-a-shit, we-don't-attend-break-ins response of the police, the floodgates opened. Echoing similar stories I'd heard before from others but hadn't fully believed, one person after another told me of their own experiences with the "Police" and how they had totally lost faith in the New Zealand police force and the majority of its officers.


Their resultant feelings towards the police in this country was either total disdain, traumatised insecurity at realising they had no security or protection from criminals, or a combination of both.


'Ignoring the Criminals Empowers Them, Because They Know the Police Won't Do Anything'


Indeed, the attending AA Road Service mechanic put it best:  "Ignoring crime like they are now doing, is empowering the criminals, because they know the police won't do anything."


That savvy observation gave me to recollect this story I published here on The Customer & The Constituent several months back:  'Not A Priority', Say Police Who Wouldn't Answer 111 Calls to Vicious Assault 700m from Their Station

- in which a service station manager escaped death (being on the ground with a fractured skull, and serious eye and facial Injuries) ONLY because he was found in the nick of time by an off-duty paramedic pulling in to buy petrol. That paramedic had made not one, but TWO, separate calls to 111 for police and an ambulance, but neither service bothered to attend. The police, as you will read, deemed the incident unworthy of their attention - despite the fact their station was in walking distance of the servo.


Speech Policing Far More Important? 

Post Some (Perfectly Legal) Comment on Your Social Media Channel, that Some Politician Doesn't Like, & You'll Get All the Attention of A Triple-Murder Perpetrator


I monitor a LOT of news channels . . . both of the "mainstream media" variety and the "alternative".


The latter have, in recent weeks, been regularly revealing and shedding insight into a secretive "hate hub" training operation set up to train NZ Police officers on supposedly "acceptable" things the public is allowed to say (online? in person?) and what we're not. I bet there's some power-tripping personnel (like the cretin mentioned above) who can't wait to unleash their bullying selves on the average Kiwi when they're through their "training".


Indeed, this beyond appalling, very current, no-warrant police invasion and assault (upon an unsuspecting mother, with children to be heard screaming in the background while the father, who had committed NO crime albeit had posted some perfectly legal comment somewhere, is physically restrained by "the police" from going to her aid) seems set to become the norm in our otherwise peaceful little country, whose citizens just need protection from actual, real criminals (rather than to be considered criminals themselves, if they should dare to express their concerns):


https://x.com/simonranderson/status/1831997990246191174?t=ju1EGriL43qrqJp1acIciQ


Indeed, uploading this article and speaking out in this manner has me concerned that it might be ME that is next to receive a knock on the door from an unwarranted bunch of thugs-in-uniform (or the door to be knocked down followed by being thrown to the ground or the wall by a bunch of boys and girls in blue with cuffs and guns).


THIS HAS TO STOP, MINISTER OF POLICE, MARK MITCHELL.


And in the interests of that, I request an interview, by phone, ASAP, with you personally (not your media and PR flacks), in order to identify exactly what your priorities are as concerns what crimes, specifically, the NZ Police will and will not attend, investigate, or do anything about.


And exactly what "speech" you consider "hate speech", so that those who wish not to be the subject of an unwarranted house search, an assault, and an arrest, can make an informed choice before they dare to open their mouths, in our "free country".


Other News, Reviews & Commentary

by Jordan Kelly 4 June 2025
Hey PowerCo: I Do NOT Appreciate You Giving Out My Email Address to Research Companies . . . Especially Those Who Treat YOUR Customers with Utter Contempt (& Spam Them)
by Jordan Kelly 3 June 2025
Why You Should Teach ALL Employees to Value Your Brand
by Jordan Kelly 26 May 2025
Ministry of Social Development Employee Sprays Around A Client's Private Information, then Sends It to A Journalist 
by Jordan Kelly 25 May 2025
Learn the Plays & Ploys of New Zealand Government Agencies to Beat Them At Their Own Sordid Game Since starting 'The Customer & The Constituent' back in January 2024, I've been learning things about the New Zealand political scene as it relates to Ministers and their Ministries (or agencies or bureaus), and also the behind-the-curtain Parliamentary machinations related to them. Things I almost wish now that I didn't know. But they're things that, for better or for worse, ALL New Zealanders should know, about the way the New Zealand Government and its "public service" really operates. If you don't know how things operate in reality (not just the PR fluff on their websites) in some of these big-name agencies that we are forced to deal with in one way or another, at some time or another, depending on the need or issue you're attempting to have solved or resolved, you could go around in ever-increasing frustrating circles for weeks, months and even years. Before getting absolutely nowhere . And the worst part is: That's the intention . The 5 D's 1) Delay 2) Defer 3) Deny 4) Defend 5) Dismissed They're largely self-explanatory, but it's an absolute playbook that they stick to, and apparently senior agency bureaucrats and Ministers and their staff are taught this as a rite of passage into parliamentary and career public "roles" . . . and then are sworn to secrecy over it, in a manner that almost has "Eyes Wide Shut" secret society overtones to it. You NEVER refer to the '5 D's' outside of the walls of inner sanctums. However, I'd add two more "D"s to their list: The sixth: Deaf (as in, Ignore). The seventh: Dumb .. And oh my goodness, let me count the ways (which I will do in further articles in this Series, in specific, detailed and named examples). So between your introduction herein to the 'D's', and my ongoing and, I hope, enlightening, series for your continuing and essential edification regarding How Wellington Really Works, I trust that you'll end up knowing how to deal with this sordid scene in a more strategic manner, for a less infuriating time, and maybe even with an outcome. Although there's no guarantee that any "outcome" won't be no outcome. Because that's almost always their intention. Oh, and I do hope that my pieces actually do become an ongoing series, because they do "hit men" (of sorts), too. Yeah, really. Paid generously (with your money, by the way) to "remove" "difficult" ( their words; not mine) individuals. Like me. Stay tuned. See you again shortly. I hope. (PS: I think a feel a book coming on.) COMING NEXT : A drill-down on each of the 'D's. And next up after that: The detailed argument I'll put to the private sector on why hiring an ex-bureaucrat is a very bad idea ( Hint: You might think it gives you in-house lobbyist power and back-door influence, but the price you'll pay is the '5D' customer service anti-culture they'll foster throughout your organisation. Even IF you keep them away from the frontline, it will happen by osmosis anyway. And faster than you think. The worst part? The longer you keep them, the more irreversible the damage they'll seed in your culture. Which then hits your brand. And so on. So, to C-suites everywhere, this will be a read you NEED .
by Jordan Kelly 25 May 2025
Thousands Sign Up to 'Better Wellington' Movement, Seeking Urgent Cessation to Unaffordable Rates, Economic Decay and 'Wrong Direction' of City Council
by Jordan Kelly 20 May 2025
To the Silly Old Placard-Waving (& Terrorist-Supporting) Fools . . . As Seen Daily On the Corner of Chapel & Perry Streets in Masterton
by Jordan Kelly 18 May 2025
** READERS: SEE UPDATE AT END OF ARTICLE. - The Ed. ** Dear MDC Management, Do You Have Any Standards for Your Call Centre Contractors?
by Jordan Kelly 15 May 2025
Being Known As the Woman Who Introduced 'C---' into the New Zealand Parliament, Wasn't A Smart Long-Term Strategy
by Jordan Kelly 14 May 2025
Cheap Trumps Standards, Ethics & Compassion . . . Apparently
by Jordan Kelly 13 May 2025
A Massive Upside IF It's Done Right . . . and An Unrecoverable Downside It It's Not
Show More