Not "Fit-for-Purpose" But No Refund, Either
Jordan Kelly • 10 February 2024

Don't Know. Don't Care.

Don't buy this piece of s--t.


Or, if you are tempted to buy it (but wait until I tell you why you shouldn't), then at least buy it from an outlet that is ethically-principled and will take it back if it doesn't do for you, what you bought it to do for you.


So, I bought this piece of expensive (non-functional for me) equipment about six weeks ago, for the outrageous price (for a piece of foam) of somewhere around $64.


Immediately after buying it, I actually found my standard foam collar (that had cost me under $20) and put this new one to one side for some future use. That day came a few days ago, and I put it on for the first time.


The bloody thing damn near choked me within the first few minutes I had it on. I had to rip it off quick-smart.


See that piece of fabric that's attached to the foam and wraps around it at the front (see my photo)? That thing is way harder and stiffer than it looks. It also doesn't seem to be removable. And it presses hard up against the Adam's apple (or the female version thereof), creating the sensation of something being jammed between your windpipe and the collar.


There might be other neck owners that don't experience the same level of extreme discomfort with this product, but it certainly is not fit-for-purpose as far as my own neck is concerned.


So, I took it back to its place of purchase:  Unichem in Masterton.


Now, I go into this store as little as possible. With a few exceptions (and one notable one), I find the service unfriendly, not particularly knowledgeable, and I just don't like the place. At all, for myriad reasons.


When I went in today to buy another couple of items and, at the same time, return this thing, I faced the first hurdle:  Won't even consider it without your receipt.


'Would You Actually Refund Me, If I DO That?'


Anticipating what I strongly suspected would be the ultimate outcome, I asked this question:


"If I rummage through my last six weeks' shoebox worth of receipts and find it and come back in with it, will you actually refund me, anyway?"


To which the disregarding reply was:  "You will need to come back in with your receipt, and we will go from there."


To which my reply was:  "Would you please confirm whether or not you will refund me if I spend the time finding the receipt?"


With an impatient look, the staff member disappeared out the back.


She came back:  "No."


Me:  "But I can't wear it. It chokes me. It's not fit-for-purpose."


She:  "It's got a mark on the inside of the neck bit. We can't send it back to the manufacturer."


My point precisely, Ma'am. That's how hard the bloody thing presses against my windpipe - and I only had it on for a few minutes!


She:  "Sorry. We're not taking it back."


Now, what's wrong with that is just about everything, from both an ethical and from a customer service point of view.


Let me count the ways:


1)  If it's not "fit for purpose", it's not fit for purpose. And if it's not fit for my purpose, it's not fit for purpose. And New Zealand consumer law requires it to be.


2)  If a customer reports to a retailer that a product isn't fit-for-purpose, you shouldn't just be sending it back to the manufacturer for a refund, you should be feeding back to the manufacturer the customer's experience with their product. Or, at least, if you have anything other than monetary concern, you should be.


3)  So you were going to send me away to hunt down a receipt that I told you would take me a lot of hassle to locate, and you were never going to refund me anyway? That's twisted.


4)  Brand reputation. Do I need to elaborate?


5)  Customer LTV (Life-Time Value).  I'll cover this in more detail in other articles as time goes on, but the bottom line is this:  OK, so let's say you enjoy either the satisfaction, or the avoidance of associated effort, and don't refund me. The $64 you saved in doing so, is absolutely dwarfed by the sales you're going to miss out on from me over the years i.e. my LTV to this outlet. Because, now I will be even LESS pre-disposed to spend my money with you.


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by Jordan Kelly 27 February 2026
Readers following the coverage of my attempts to get to the bottom of what happened to my beloved little papillon, Harry, with whom I was extraordinarily closely bonded, will know that: (A) The rot in Massey University’s Companion Animal “Hospital” (CAH) runs deep. (B) Honesty and transparency is not their policy. Denial, dismissal, stonewalling, legal threats and intimidation are. (C) Animals aren’t safe there, with cruelty embedded in “care”, and your property (as your pet legally is) not considered your property at all, as far as Massey, its CAH staff and management are concerned. Your pet is theirs ; to do with as they please, according to their mindset and their modus operandi. And if that involves catastrophic levels of unauthorised, contraindicated, convenience sedation to facilitate their use of your pet in monetised student video collections (including on private cell phones, and to which you will be given no access), this too, according to Massey, is its own God-given right and “best practice” Standard Operating Procedure. (D) “Informed Consent” has a very different meaning in the Massey playbook to that which is generally deemed its accepted definition. (E) “Accountability” is a foreign concept and not one with which they have any intention of becoming acquainted. (F) Laws – including those governing animal welfare, property conversion and more – are not only optional, in Massey’s case, they simply don’t apply. In fact, they appear blissfully ignorant of them according to my (and Harry's) experience. You know all that. You’ve read about it here , here , here , here , here , here , here , here and in most of my other now 30+ articles covering the numerous different sub-atrocities within the overall atrocity that was the demise and disposal of my precious little Harry. Actually, "atrocious" doesn't come anywhere near to being an adequate adjective. Despite having been a professional writer since I was 16 and having upwards of 25 published books under my belt, I don't actually have an adjective that's adequate for the pure evil that was perpetrated upon Harry . . . and, by extension, me . There is not one word or one phrase that can sufficiently convey the depth and breadth of the sheer, unadulterated wickedness that festers without restraint within the walls of Massey University's Companion Animal "Hospital". What you, my readers (or those of you not on Massey's massive legal team payroll) didn’t yet know – because I didn’t yet know – is that record and evidence tampering (which, for any other New Zealand citizen would attract jail time of up to 10 years under the Crimes Act 1961 Section 258 (Altering document with intent to deceive) or Section 260 (Falsifying registers) , and/or a $10,000 fine under the Privacy Act Section 212(2)(b) - appears also to be included in the “we’re exempt” culture of Massey and its veterinary “hospital” staff. Note to Readers: The above laws aren't some hypothetical, bottom-drawer, dusty old legal tracts in archaic library textbooks. They're real, "living" laws that apply to every individual in our country. And today, they are being made to apply to Dr Stephanie Rigg and her "colleagues" who falsified Harry's records to create a cover-up of what they did to him . . . and to me. I will, duly, see Dr Rigg and her associates in Court. Dissecting the Cover-Up: Massey’s Metadata of Deception But back to what readers do know for a moment: You’ll know that I’ve been in the battle of battles for the past two months to extract Harry’s full records (or anything approaching them) from Massey’s Legal and Governance department. HOWEVER . . . there was one thing I hadn’t known how to decipher that they actually had finally drip-fed to me. It was File Name: Patient Change Log (Field-Level Audit) . I’ve been learning a lot about veterinary science, record-keeping, and law in general lately. Not because I wanted to. But because if you want to figure out how deep the rot really runs at Massey, you kind of have to. So I’ve learned a bit about how to decipher clinical metadata. Just e nough to realise that this Patient Change Log (Field-Level Audit) is exactly where the digital fingerprints of a cover-up are hiding. Despite the fact that this document has as much redacted as it shows (probably more), with ALL staff names and positions blacked out, for example -I still found four distinct “smoking gun” entries in these otherwise heavily-redacted metadata logs. BIG. FAT. SMOKING. GUNS. that amounted to one undeniable overall conclusion: This document isn’t a clinical record so much as it’s a literal crime scene . There were already so many dodgy inconsistencies in the few items I'd managed to pull out of Massey to that point (as I've documented in various of my preceding articles). But this document is where, undeniably, the bodies are buried. You just need to know which clod of dirt to look under. Hidden in Plain Sight . . . In A Little Thing Called the Metadata (That the Average Pet Owner Wouldn't Even Know Existed ) There are four hidden but key findings demonstrating that the entire timeline of Harry’s “experience” in that hellhole were was orchestrated, and the sudden "neurological event/decline" exit strategy planned for him were a total fabrication. And that fabrication had a start time. (For this start time we will initially revert our focus back to Massey's previously-supplied "Clinical Summary" (in all its dodginess) . . . We will then lead from the immediately below into the afore-mentioned "Patient Change Log (Field-Level Audit)". Bear with me. I promise not to let this get boring). Well, one of two start times. 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An Expert Contributed Commentary (FOR LATEST INVESTIGATION FINDINGS, GO HERE .)
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