Dubious & Deceitful, Masterton DC . . . & Smelling Very, Very Dodgy. So Which Councillors Care? (Hint: Most Couldn't Give A Stuff)
Jordan Kelly • 31 August 2025

Before You Vote for More of the Same Contempt from Your Local 'Elected Representatives', See If Any Care About YOU, the Ratepayer . . . Because When You Need Them, You Might Be Highly Disappointed.

My regular readers might remember this article from back in March of this year:  Noxious Emissions from Your Neighbours' 'Wood' Burners? Here Are the Rules.


In short, for reasons best known to themselves, my rear "neighbours", with their very large house a literal stone's throw from my back fence (and from my clothesline) had chosen to set their woodburner going in the middle of one of the hottest days of the summer, stenching out (with a putrid smell strongly suggestive of domestic rubbish, plastic or something you don't want in your house, much less permeating your clothes) a huge amount of precious clothing I'd just pulled out of long-term storage and had spent all day sorting into piles (in my back garden since my washing machine is in my garage), laboriously washing, and squeezing very creatively onto my Hills Hoist clothesline.


As anyone would be, I was rightly angry at the subsequent inevitability (following multiple repeated washings with everything from eucalyptus oil to industrial-grade detergent) of (heartbreakingly) having to discard a large proportion of my beautiful, but stenched-beyond-redeemability clothing (much of which I had bought and treasured from my vast international travels).


On that initial occasion, I'd done the two Councils' (Masterton District Council and Greater Wellington Regional Council) job for them, in writing the above linked-to article and delivering it into the letterbox of the offending neighbours.


While I wasn't naive enough to think it wouldn't happen again - and probably as soon as I pegged out my next load of washing - I thought I was avoiding the loss of more clothes and linen by having a local builder string a (sort of) clothesline in my driveway (very low-class, but no choice under the circumstances). However, in protracted dull weather, washing doesn't dry for days there . . . but does dry brilliantly and rapidly in the breeze enjoyed by the afore-mentioned Hills Hoist in my back garden.


So, now in the grips of winter, I gingerly resumed pegging out a few loads on said (riskily) exposed Hills Hoist . . . and yes, you guessed it, with the predictable result of stenched-out clothes again. Not quite as putrid this time (albeit, still putrid nonetheless) but that might have been more good luck than anything else, based on the difference in weather conditions versus the original stenching-out scenario.


So I Reached Out YET AGAIN to the Local Council for Help . . .


Predictably, Masterton District Council did what Masterton District Council does best:  tell me it's Greater Wellington Regional Council's problem. And Greater Wellington Regional Council does what Greater Wellington Regional Council (GWRC) does best: tell me it's Masterton District Council's problem.


Convinced by the GWRC that it was indeed a Masterton District Council Environmental Department responsibility, I pursued that channel - while still trying to get the GWRC to do something nonetheless, since it was pretty clear that the Masterton Council personnel had nil genuine intention of ever actually addressing the matter.


And so it went on, for weeks, this "5D" game of "show as much contempt for the ratepayer as possible". . . . until finally, some middle manager-type person in the Greater Wellington Regional Council (who I pursued again after it became clear that Masterton DC staff were just enjoying said game) recommended to someone who should have cared (but didn't give a shit) in Masterton District Council, that they letterbox a flyer in the immediate area, letting the neighbouring residents know what's OK and what's not OK to burn in a domestic woodburner (as if said neighbouring property owners didn't know; but at least it would serve as a warning shot across their bow).


The GWRC staff member actually even provided the proposed / recommended text of the flyer to make it a "no-brainer" for Masterton DC staff.


Thereupon ensued two months of my following up the Masterton District Council's "Customer Service Manager" to see when said flyer or letter or whatever was going to be letterboxed . . . so I could stop racking up a massive power bill by having to use my clothes dryer for every load of washing I did.


While the first email (from the "Customer Services Manager" following the GWRC's suggestion and letterbox flyer content provision) had, in fact, been promising:  "I've just come out of a meeting (to organise it)", the matter quickly descended back into just another perennial avoidance strategy i.e. "gotta try to find the resources". And I kept getting the same email on each of my follow-up attempts thereafter, but just with slightly different wording, "The bylaws team are working on finding some resources."


I finally, in one email to said Customer Services Manager, even asked outright if I was getting the 5D treatment. Of course I wasn't, was the unconvincing response:


Kia ora Jordan,

 

Apologies for the delayed response.

 

Last I heard was the Bylaws team were looking for resources to have the materials ready for a letter box/post drop. I left this with the Bylaws team to proceed with, so I will follow up with them to see where this is at.

 

I would like to think that we do not use the said instruments of the 5D’s as described in the article below, however delays to what appears to be (sic) simple task can have an effect of making customers feel they are being placed in the basket of the 5D’s!


I can honestly say I have never endeavoured to gaslight you at all Jordan, I trust in my colleagues' abilities in their relevant fields, which is exactly what I have done on this occasion by leaving this with the bylaws team to follow up and complete.

 

As stated earlier, I will follow up with the Bylaws team this afternoon and see where this is at, I will come back to you as soon as I have some solid information to share.

 

Ngā mihi,

CLARE WILLIAMS

Manager - Customer Services


So I Offered to Write It & Deliver It Myself . . .


Understanding the game, I now offered to take the raw copy that had been produced for the Masterton DC bylaws team by the Greater Wellington Regional Council (GWRC) personnel, write it up myself (offering my professional services at absolutely no charge), and then submit it back for their approval . . . whereupon all they had to do was run it through their photocopier onto some letterhead. After that, I personally, myself, would run about the single block of properties in question, letterboxing it.


No "resources" needed - other than some admin staffer at Masterton DC to press the button on the photocopier.


But then . . . complete radio silence. Well, just a brief email response to tell me, they'd "contact (me) if they needed (my) help".


Finally, following another lengthy period of rainy days and more risks that didn't pay off (i.e. hanging out clothes again on the targeted Hills Hoist, resulting in yet more stenched-out clothes that repeated washing couldn't remediate), I wrote to all the Councillors of both the GWRC and the Masterton District Council.


That resulted in the GWRC staff member (now nearly three months after having supplied Masterton District Council with the copy for the simple print-out), at the instruction of the Chairperson and Deputy Chairperson of the GWRC, taking back responsibility for this simple exercise and getting it done in the same week. Thank you to those two elected representatives of the Greater Wellington Regional Council . . . for doing what, for reasons best known to themselves, Masterton District Council bylaws / environmental team members were refusing to do (albeit that they had agreed to, and had advised that they would, do).


But Then THIS Happened . . . And Was THIS What the Masterton District Council Was Up to the Whole Time?


The very next week (or was it even the same week?), you would struggle to believe it in all but a few Council areas, but . . .


I came home to find that a huge, second  smoke stack  (a chimney very substantially larger than the original offending emission source) and substantially closer i.e. not a lot more than maybe 10 meters from my clothesline . . . had suddenly appeared above (what is assumed to be) the garage/workshop of said neighbours' house!!


The self-same department who wouldn't distribute the letter / flyer given to them by the Regional Council to distribute to address the problem, had (it appears) consented an even BIGGER problem within more IMMEDIATE, DIRECT-LINE-OF-FIRE PROXIMITY!!


So what's going on THERE, I think I have a right to know?


It would appear to explain a LOT about the reticence of the Masterton District Council to distribute the GWRC's flyer / letter!!


So I Emailed All the Councillors Individually, to See Who Was Worth His or Her Salt As An 'Elected Representative' . . .


I emailed every single Councillor of both Councils, laboriously, individually, with the subject line:  "Email Specifically for (Councillor's Name)".


And so, who's worth their salt and ratepayers' money to fund their annual stipends? Very few. Very few indeed, according to my experience (or lack thereof) of them:


From the Masterton District Council:


  • Deputy Mayor Bex Johnson:  Emailed me to say it was Greater Wellington Regional Council's problem. (She did fruitlessly cc the well-hidden-from-ratepayer-view and totally unaccountable very well-salaried CEO, though, who remained as silent as always when it comes to ratepayer issues.)


  • David Holmes ("At-Large Councillor"):  Rang and told me he'd address the matter directly with management at a meeting the following morning, and said he'd call me that afternoon. He didn't and I never heard from him again.


  • Marama Tuuta (Maori Ward Councillor) sent me this email the following week:  "Kia ora Jordan, Your issue was discussed in Wednesday’s meeting with the council and the officers. We were assured by the officers that it was being dealt with and so it was left up to the officers to deal with. I trust this addresses the issue. Aku mihi. Councillor Tuuta"  No, I emailed back. I've heard nothing from anyone at the Council, and certainly no issue had "been dealt with".


  • Councillor Tim Nelson:  **The single, only, sole Councillor around the entire "elected representatives" table worth his salt and ratepayers' funding, as far as I'm concerned. Cr Nelson followed up with me at several points throughout the whole (still VERY much unresolved and unexplained and HIGHLY DUBIOUS fiasco). His email of August 13 read:  "Hi Jordan, This was addressed after the council meeting today. Are you in touch with Corin Haines? Apparently he contacted you and is waiting on a reply."


My reply to Cr Nelson read:  "Thanks for following through, Tim, but a big NO, NOTHING from Corin Haines.  I’ve just been back through every email and voicemail that came in today (and also yesterday and also Monday) from anyone, and absolutely nothing from a Corin Haines (unsurprisingly, as that is the person that started out back in January as the one who was meant to be sorting out this matter. I do object to a Council staffer telling you they’ve contacted me when they haven’t)."


Cr Nelson's subsequent reply to me read:  "Hi Jordan, My suggestion is that you email Corin, and cc the CEO  (Kym Fell) and myself in, and refer to the cc in the email. Tim"  (whereupon I asked him for, and he provided, the email of the well-hidden-from-view - "CEO" (read: very well-paid yet seemingly totally unaccountable town clerk).


Tim must have passed that on to said staff powers-that-shouldn't be, because it resulted in the arrival of the following totally contemptuous reply (amounting to a cut-and-paste from either the Masterton DC's or the GWRC's website (and completely refusing to even acknowledge the whole dodgy affair of the consenting of the second (even larger, even closer) smoke stack on the same property - and, Messrs Fell and Mulligan, to which I still require an answer . . . like, a REAL one):


Kia ora Jordon (sic),

 

Your email to the Mayor has been brought to my attention and passed to me for response.

 

I have been in touch with the Greater Wellington Regional Council and I have been advised that there will be a brochure drop around your neighbourhood on Friday. I am aware this has also been communicated to you by a Greater Wellington Regional Council staff member.

 

I would like to reiterate that if you experience a smoke nuisance please telephone Masterton District Council- 06-370 6300 and log a service request, this will then be logged for one of the Environmental Services Team to attend. Please describe what is happening and what your concern is.

 

The Customer Services Team will then load the service request, with the details you have provided and pass this onto an Environmental Services Team Member who will attend when they are able. Please be aware someone might not be always available right away, they may be on other jobs, but we will attend as soon as possible.

 

An Environmental Services Team member will attend the property and make an assessment as to nuisance. If the issue is still occurring when they arrive, they may engage with the owner if they are home to gather more information and try to ascertain what is causing the nuisance. In the first instance, we will educate the owner about not burning rubbish in their fireplace if this is occurring.

 

If illegal discharge to air is occurring and the issue continues, we may engage the support of the Greater Wellington Regional Council in relation to illegal discharge air.

 

Ngā mihi,

Terri Mulligan

Environmental Services Manager 


Mulligan's email is almost a word-for-word, cut-and-paste of the same email I was sent after the January smoke-outs!! And apart from its open contemptuousness, does nothing to explain (a) why Mulligan's team avoided doing the letterboxing exercise, and (b) why his team was, at the same time, apparently busy consenting a second,  substantially larger, substantially closer smoke stack, while actively refusing to address the issue being created by the first one ON THE VERY SAME PROPERTY!!


The Danger of Weak, Malleable & Unresponsive Councillors As Our 'Elected Representatives'


It is exactly this kind of missing-in-action, unresponsive and apathetic breed of "Councillor" that results in ratepayers being subjected to exactly this type of dubious scenario and contempt-ridden unaccountability by Council management and staff (together with unaccountable spending).


On that note, here are the those that - despite my detailed, several emails, written and addressed specifically and individually to them - fully ignored me, as their "constituent":


Masterton District Council . . . Our 'Elected Representatives': Who's Worth the Seat They're Warming?


  • Mayor Gary Caffell (On a previous occasion, this "Mayor" told me if I had an issue I needed to go through the Council's sanitised media department, despite my being a ratepayer! NB: Why the hell does little old Masterton need a council "media team", anyway?)


  • Bex Johnson (OK, so she replied, but as a Mayoral candidate, I certainly wouldn't be voting for her; IMHO, she's just another of the largely ineffective status quo bums on seats around the Council table. We need real ratepayer representation and real accountability from the management suite, and I don't think we'll get it from her or from any of the current crop of "elected representatives" - with one exception (see further on).


  • Craig Bowyer (Going for Mayor . . . yeah, right. Where was his response to my plea for help?)


  • Stella Lennox (Going for Mayor . . . ditto)


  • David Holmes (Cr Holmes: If you're going to stand someone up, you're better just to be missing-in-action like your fellow "Councillors")


  • Brent Goodwin (Never heard from him or of him.)


  • Tom Hullena (Never heard from him or of him.)


  • Marama Tuuta:  (Unknown as to whether any follow-through would have been forthcoming from any further "reaching out" to her, following her email telling me that Council staff had advised her that the problem "had been dealt with". Certainly, she didn't acknowledge my email telling her very specifically that, no, it hadn't, and I hadn't heard from any staff member, either.)


  • Tim Nelson:  Contrasting sharply with all of the above mainly seat-warmers at ratepayers' expense, and worth his salt and should actually be the one going for the Mayoralty, in my opinion, not least of all for his commonsense fiscal policies (Read: The Voice of A Fiscally Responsible Local Councillor), is Councillor Tim Nelson.


Greater Wellington Regional Council:


Daran Ponter, GWRC Council Chair, and Adrienne Staples, Deputy Council Chair, were both, I'm assuming (and I think, correctly) the only reason the letterboxing exercise ever happened at all (which, as outlined, ended up being done by GWRC itself).


I'll refrain from commenting on the other GWRC "elected representatives", since I don't know if any might have demonstrated any concern in the background. What might have been less ignorant, however, is (given that each of them had an email from me addressed specifically to them, individually) to have taken a moment to acknowledge it.


On the Matter of Staff Lying to Elected Representatives


For those "elected representatives" who are totally unable or unwilling to read the room, there's a growing national dissatisfaction with self-interested, pointless, seat-warmer, ratepayer-funded "Councillors" . . . most especially those who are too uninterested, too uninvested, or too timid, to do anything about the dubious conduct of the management and staff in their Council buildings.


Here are just a few likewise examples of Councils at loggerheads with their communities for their apathetic willingness to be towed along by the nose by, and/or to turn a blind eye to dodgy behaviour in, the management suite:


Taupo Councillor Blows the Whistle: The '5Ds' of Bureaucratic Sabotage At Work in Local Government


MUST-WATCH: Citizen Journalist's Deep Dive into Unaccountable Local Government Spending


Auckland Council Imposes 'Giant Buddhist Monstrosity' Over Local Community - No Consultation


Taxpayers' Union Repeats Call for Rates Capping After Tauranga Council Drops $67.7k for Graphics on One Bus Stop


Council's Woke Spending Spree Rolls On While Wellington Heads for Economic Implosion


READERS


Here's the shameful, disingenuous sequel to this ongoing, smelly affair.


I highly recommend that residents and ratepayers DON'T VOTE for weak, unconcerned councillor candidates who turn their backs on their constituents, when they should have their backs.

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Dissecting the Cover-Up: Massey’s Metadata of Deception But back to what readers do know for a moment: You’ll know that I’ve been in the battle of battles for the past two months to extract Harry’s full records (or anything approaching them) from Massey’s Legal and Governance department. HOWEVER . . . there was one thing I hadn’t known how to decipher that they actually had finally drip-fed to me. It was File Name: Patient Change Log (Field-Level Audit) . I’ve been learning a lot about veterinary science, record-keeping, and law in general lately. Not because I wanted to. But because if you want to figure out how deep the rot really runs at Massey, you kind of have to. So I’ve learned a bit about how to decipher clinical metadata. Just e nough to realise that this Patient Change Log (Field-Level Audit) is exactly where the digital fingerprints of a cover-up are hiding. 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In A Little Thing Called the Metadata (That the Average Pet Owner Wouldn't Even Know Existed ) There are four hidden but key findings demonstrating that the entire timeline of Harry’s “experience” in that hellhole were was orchestrated, and the sudden "neurological event/decline" exit strategy planned for him were a total fabrication. And that fabrication had a start time. (For this start time we will initially revert our focus back to Massey's previously-supplied "Clinical Summary" (in all its dodginess) . . . We will then lead from the immediately below into the afore-mentioned "Patient Change Log (Field-Level Audit)". Bear with me. I promise not to let this get boring). Well, one of two start times. 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